The Origin of the (Political) Species
By Anonymous
[quoting] The two most important events in all of history were the
invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to get=A0man=A0to the beer. These were the
foundations of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for
the splitting of humanity into=A0two distinct subgroups: Liberals and
Conservatives.
Once=A0beer was discovered it required grain, and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were=A0invented
yet, so our early human ancestors just stayed close to=A0the=A0brewery.
That's how villages were formed.
Some=A0men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
while=A0they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known
as "the Conservative movement".
Other men who were weaker=A0and less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing=A0the
sewing, weaving and hair dressing. This was the beginning of
"the=A0Liberal movement." Some of these liberal men eventually
evolved=A0into women. The rest became known as 'girleymen'.
Some=A0noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the trade union, class action lawsuits, the invention of group
therapy=A0& group hugs and the concept of democratic voting to decide how
to=A0divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over=A0the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,=A0most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are=A0symbolized by
the jackass.
Modern liberals like=A0imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or=A0imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu and French food are standard liberal
fare.=A0Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their
women=A0have=A0higher testosterone levels than their men. Most
social=A0workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, hairdressers,
dreamers in=A0Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.
Liberals=A0invented baseball's designated hitter rule because it wasn't=A0
"fair" to make the pitcher also bat.
=A0
Conservatives drink domestic=A0beer and eat red meat & potatoes.
Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, medical doctors, police officers,
corporate=A0executives, soldiers, self-employed, athletes & generally
anyone=A0who works productively outside government. Conservatives who
own=A0companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a=A0living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern"=A0the producers
and decide what to do with the production. They=A0also like to take money
away from successful people and give it to the=A0 failures.=A0Liberals
believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans.
That=A0is why=A0most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives
were coming to America.=A0They crept in after the Wild West was tame &
created a=A0business of trying to get MORE for nothing.
Thus ends=A0today's lesson in world history. [end quote]
=20
http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=3D18724
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| User: "Jane" |
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| Title: Re: The Origin of the (Political) Species |
22 Sep 2005 09:00:46 AM |
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"Steven Douglas" <dsteven@flashmail.com> wrote in message
news:1127365813.934900.21080@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
The Origin of the (Political) Species
By Anonymous
[quoting] The two most important events in all of history were the
invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to getmanto the beer. These were the
foundations of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for
the splitting of humanity intotwo distinct subgroups: Liberals and
Conservatives.
Oncebeer was discovered it required grain, and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can wereinvented
yet, so our early human ancestors just stayed close tothebrewery.
That's how villages were formed.
Somemen spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
whilethey were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known
as "the Conservative movement".
Other men who were weakerand less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doingthe
sewing, weaving and hair dressing. This was the beginning of
"theLiberal movement." Some of these liberal men eventually
evolvedinto women. The rest became known as 'girleymen'.
Somenoteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the trade union, class action lawsuits, the invention of group
therapy& group hugs and the concept of democratic voting to decide how
todivide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Overthe years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals aresymbolized by
the jackass.
Modern liberals likeimported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine orimported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu and French food are standard liberal
fare.Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their
womenhavehigher testosterone levels than their men. Most
socialworkers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, hairdressers,
dreamers inHollywood and group therapists are liberals.
Liberalsinvented baseball's designated hitter rule because it wasn't
"fair" to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domesticbeer and eat red meat & potatoes.
Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, medical doctors, police officers,
corporateexecutives, soldiers, self-employed, athletes & generally
anyonewho works productively outside government. Conservatives who
owncompanies hire other conservatives who want to work for aliving.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern"the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Theyalso like to take money
away from successful people and give it to the failures.Liberals
believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans.
Thatis whymost of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives
were coming to America.They crept in after the Wild West was tame &
created abusiness of trying to get MORE for nothing.
Thus endstoday's lesson in world history. [end quote]
http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=18724
I like it. Very apropos. I can see eric drinking white wine, eating sushi
and initiating a group hug. Hehe, what a picture!
Jane
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| User: "eric" |
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| Title: Re: The Origin of the (Political) Species |
22 Sep 2005 03:21:41 PM |
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You forget that for the last decade or so, and for most of Canadian
History, Canadians have been governed by Liberals.
eric.
P.S. I mostly drink Red wine.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: The Origin of the (Political) Species |
22 Sep 2005 06:10:53 AM |
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Bet it goes down a treat at the pub after a few nexk oils.
Could make the text a mission statement for Bogans.
LB
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| User: "Marvin The Paranoid Android" |
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| Title: Re: The Origin of the (Political) Species |
22 Sep 2005 01:51:50 PM |
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Steven Douglas wrote:
The Origin of the (Political) Species
By Anonymous
[quoting] The two most important events in all of history were the
invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to get�man�to the beer. These were the
foundations of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for
the splitting of humanity into�two distinct subgroups: Liberals and
Conservatives.
Once�beer was discovered it required grain, and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were�invented
yet, so our early human ancestors just stayed close to�the�brewery.
That's how villages were formed.
That was *funny*.
Cheers!
Marvie
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| User: "The 5th Horseman" |
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| Title: Re: The Origin of the (Political) Species |
22 Sep 2005 05:42:22 AM |
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Tee hee. Like it Duggy like it......
the 5th horseman
"Steven Douglas" <dsteven@flashmail.com> wrote in message
news:1127365813.934900.21080@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
The Origin of the (Political) Species
By Anonymous
[quoting] The two most important events in all of history were the
invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to getmanto the beer. These were the
foundations of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for
the splitting of humanity intotwo distinct subgroups: Liberals and
Conservatives.
Oncebeer was discovered it required grain, and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can wereinvented
yet, so our early human ancestors just stayed close tothebrewery.
That's how villages were formed.
Somemen spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
whilethey were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known
as "the Conservative movement".
Other men who were weakerand less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doingthe
sewing, weaving and hair dressing. This was the beginning of
"theLiberal movement." Some of these liberal men eventually
evolvedinto women. The rest became known as 'girleymen'.
Somenoteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the trade union, class action lawsuits, the invention of group
therapy& group hugs and the concept of democratic voting to decide how
todivide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Overthe years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals aresymbolized by
the jackass.
Modern liberals likeimported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine orimported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu and French food are standard liberal
fare.Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their
womenhavehigher testosterone levels than their men. Most
socialworkers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, hairdressers,
dreamers inHollywood and group therapists are liberals.
Liberalsinvented baseball's designated hitter rule because it wasn't
"fair" to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domesticbeer and eat red meat & potatoes.
Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, medical doctors, police officers,
corporateexecutives, soldiers, self-employed, athletes & generally
anyonewho works productively outside government. Conservatives who
owncompanies hire other conservatives who want to work for aliving.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern"the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Theyalso like to take money
away from successful people and give it to the failures.Liberals
believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans.
Thatis whymost of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives
were coming to America.They crept in after the Wild West was tame &
created abusiness of trying to get MORE for nothing.
Thus endstoday's lesson in world history. [end quote]
http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=18724
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| User: "mondo" |
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| Title: Re: The Origin of the (Political) Species |
22 Sep 2005 12:29:14 AM |
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Tell me something about the "Hertzsprung-Russell Diagram" and I will respect
you more....
mondo
"Steven Douglas" <dsteven@flashmail.com> wrote in message
news:1127365813.934900.21080@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
The Origin of the (Political) Species
By Anonymous
[quoting] The two most important events in all of history were the
invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to getmanto the beer. These were the
foundations of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for
the splitting of humanity intotwo distinct subgroups: Liberals and
Conservatives.
Oncebeer was discovered it required grain, and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can wereinvented
yet, so our early human ancestors just stayed close tothebrewery.
That's how villages were formed.
Somemen spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
whilethey were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known
as "the Conservative movement".
Other men who were weakerand less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doingthe
sewing, weaving and hair dressing. This was the beginning of
"theLiberal movement." Some of these liberal men eventually
evolvedinto women. The rest became known as 'girleymen'.
Somenoteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the trade union, class action lawsuits, the invention of group
therapy& group hugs and the concept of democratic voting to decide how
todivide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Overthe years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals aresymbolized by
the jackass.
Modern liberals likeimported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine orimported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu and French food are standard liberal
fare.Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their
womenhavehigher testosterone levels than their men. Most
socialworkers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, hairdressers,
dreamers inHollywood and group therapists are liberals.
Liberalsinvented baseball's designated hitter rule because it wasn't
"fair" to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domesticbeer and eat red meat & potatoes.
Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, medical doctors, police officers,
corporateexecutives, soldiers, self-employed, athletes & generally
anyonewho works productively outside government. Conservatives who
owncompanies hire other conservatives who want to work for aliving.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern"the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Theyalso like to take money
away from successful people and give it to the failures.Liberals
believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans.
Thatis whymost of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives
were coming to America.They crept in after the Wild West was tame &
created abusiness of trying to get MORE for nothing.
Thus endstoday's lesson in world history. [end quote]
http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=18724
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