John F Lemke wrote:
"Back Door To FRICKSVILLET" <yessireeyesindeedydo@yahoo.ca> wrote in
message
news:1109479896.345911.165860@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting with her young
charges and she asked them when they wanted to be when they grew up.
A twelve year-old said, "I want to be a prostitute."
The Mother Superior fainted dead away on the spot. When they revived
her, she raised her head from the ground and gasped, "What did you
say?"
The young girl shrugged. "I said I want to be a prostitute."
"A prostitute!" the Mother Superior said. "Oh, praise Sweet Jesus!
And
I thought you said you wanted to be a Protestant."
he he he he he he he ;-)
???? (hOOROO ;-)
??? ????? ;-) (uNCLE wALLY ;-) (I *still* got it !!!!!
(anyone want it, BTW ?!? ;-)
That WAS a good one Uncle Wally.
I think in the Spirit of ecumenicism and in an effort to keep things
light
I've got one for you too.
But you'll need a reasonably good knowledge of American
country/popular
music in order to get it.
A young Baptist preacher, new to a small church in a small town in
Tennessee, decides to go door to door one Saturday morning to
introduce
himself to his new community and to invite people to attend his
church.
He knocks on the first door of the day and an older lady answers the
door
and just stares at him. He introduces himself and invites her to
church the
next day. The lady says, "Fine, I'll be there. By the way, young
man, has
anyone ever told you that you're the spittin' image of Conway
Twitty?"
Yes, ma'am, um I hear that fairly often, thank you. But I'm not him.
I'll
see you tomorrow morning."
The handsome young preacher goes to the next house on the street and
knocks
on the door. A middle aged lady comes to the door and shrieks,
"Conway
Twitty!!!!!!!! It's Conway Twitty!!!!!" She yells over her shoulder
to
her husband, "Horace!!!! Conway Twitty's at our door!!!!!!"
The young preacher, embarrassed, says, "No ma'am, I'm not Conway
Twitty.
I'm the new preacher at the Fifth Baptist Church six blocks down the
street.
I get mistaken for Mr. Twitty all the time."
The woman looks at him real close and says, "The similarity is
stunning.
You know Conway lives just a couple of towns down the road. Are you
sure
you ain't Conway Twitty?"
"Yes ma'am," the flustered preacher replied, "I suppose if anyone
would know
it would be me. Anyway, hope to see you at church tomorrow."
Walking to the next house the young man is a little disgusted. He
thinks of
changing his hair style, toning down his wardrobe a little bit.
He comes to the next house and rings the door bell. No one answers.
He
rings again and waits. When no one comes to the door he turns to
walk away
but hears the door unlock and open.
When he turns around he sees a spectacularly attractive, voluptuous
22 year
old girl at the door who has obviously just stepped out of the
shower. As
their eyes meet she screams, "Conway Twitty!!!!!!!!!"
Her hands reflexively fly to her mouth and when they do her bathtowel
falls
from around her body, falling ruffled at her feet.
The young preacher says...............................
"Hello, darlin'"
he he ;-)
Don't blame him one bit -- but he's got a lot of nerve ! Your Uncle
Wally would
become one giant blob of jelly if that happened to me !
I posted my "That's not my dog" joke the other day -- it's an oldie but
a goody --
don't know if anyone saw it, so here it is again ;-)
A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to your Uncle Wally and a
dog.
"Does your dog bite?" asks the guy.
"Frick No !!!!," says your Uncle Wally
So the guy bends over to pat the dog -- which bites a big chunk out of
his hand.
"Hey !!!! You said your dog didn't bite!" says the guy.
He doesn't !!! "That's not my dog," says your Uncle Wally ;-)
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