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Uranus is 'responsible' for sea quakes
Ernest Gill | Hamburg, Germany
30 March 2005 03:09
Uranus may be responsible for recent devastating Asian sea
quakes because the mystery-shrouded "planet of calamity" is unusually
close to the Earth, tabloid newspaper readers in Germany were warned on
Wednesday.
Under the front-page headline "Uncanny Uranus", the report in
theBild newspaper cited an array of experts, ranging from Nasa scientists
to TV astrologers, saying the seventh planet from the sun possesses a
"quadripolar" magnetic field that acts as "a giant cosmic vacuum cleaner".
This heavenly Hoover is literally sucking the Earth's tectonic
plates out of their beddings, according to Bild, Europe's largest daily
newspaper with more than five million readers.
This magnetic pull is strongest along the Earth's equator
because the tropics are marginally closer to Uranus than the poles are.
The magnetic forces "are strong enough at the equator to suck
up electrically charged dust particles", which could, in turn, disturb the
Earth's crust and spawn killer sea quakes and resulting tidal waves.
The reason these natural phenomena have increased of late is
that the distant planet's orbit has brought Uranus uncomfortably close to
Earth.
Instead of being its usual 3,14-billion kilometres from Earth,
Uranus currently is a mere 2,59-billion kilometres away.
And it will remain this close through the year 2012, so Bild
warns that we could be in for more uncanny Uranian catastrophes well into
the next decade until Uranus slowly retreats back into its proper place in
the Outer Solar System.
"With its 11 rings and 18 moons, Uranus is in fact different
from everything else in our Solar System," said Edward Stone, Voyager
project scientist since 1972.
The German paper quoted Stone at length, saying that Voyager 2
had raised almost more questions than it had solved.
Since launch on August 20 1977, Voyager 2's itinerary has
taken the spacecraft to Jupiter in July 1979, Saturn in August 1981, then
becoming the only spacecraft to visit Uranus and Neptune, in 1986 and 1989
respectively. Both Voyager 2 and its twin, Voyager 1, will eventually
leave our solar system and enter interstellar space.
Voyager 2's images of the five largest moons around Uranus
revealed complex surfaces indicative of varying geologic pasts. The
cameras also detected 10 previously unseen moons. Several instruments
studied the ring system, uncovering the fine detail of the previously
known rings and two newly detected rings.
Voyager data showed that the planet's rate of rotation is a
brisk 17 hours and 14 minutes. The spacecraft also found that uncanny
Uranian magnetic field that is both large and unusual.
Because the axis of Uranus is tilted at right angles to all
other planets, its rings are at 90 degrees to the planet's orbit about the
sun.
But the paper also quoted astrologists who noted that Uranus
has always been an oddity. It has been equated with upheavals, calamitous
change and general quirkiness since it was discovered and added to the
Zodiac in the late 18th Century.
"There's a planetary constellation right now that could be
responsible for flooding and earthquakes," astrologer Karin Stahl said
ominously.
And Germany's best-known astrologer, Winfried Noe, who
recently launched the world's first occult-arts television network, Astro
TV, was quoted as saying the phase of natural catastrophes could last a
decade or more because it takes that long for Uranus to transit an
astrological sign.
"Uranus is currently in the sign of Pisces," Noe told the
paper.
"And that is a harbinger of disaster." -- Sapa/DPA
http://www.mg.co.za/articlepage.aspx?area=/breaking_news/other_news/&articleid=200526
I disagree. I don't believe my ***** was responsible. Others'
anuses, maybe, but not mine!
Doc ;p
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| User: "tw" |
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| Title: Re: Uranus Is 'Responsible' For Sea Quakes |
31 Mar 2005 09:08:45 AM |
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"Doc" <goblowmoreshit@baboons.com> wrote in message
news:d2h15o01mb@enews2.newsguy.com...
Uranus is 'responsible' for sea quakes
Well, my ***** has been responsible for some bath quakes, so it could be
possible, I suppose.
.
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| User: "H Head" |
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| Title: Re: Uranus Is 'Responsible' For Sea Quakes |
31 Mar 2005 09:34:15 AM |
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On Thu, 31 Mar 2005 17:08:45 +0200, "tw" <no@no.com> wrote:
"Doc" <goblowmoreshit@baboons.com> wrote in message
news:d2h15o01mb@enews2.newsguy.com...
Uranus is 'responsible' for sea quakes
Well, my ***** has been responsible for some bath quakes, so it could be
possible, I suppose.
You got in the bath? So I guess they should correct the story to say
that there are no longer rings around Uranus.
Biggest question, though. Did that also get rid of the Klingons on
Uranus????
.
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| User: "tw" |
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| Title: Re: Uranus Is 'Responsible' For Sea Quakes |
31 Mar 2005 09:44:45 AM |
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"H Head" <hammerhead@fishnet.net> wrote in message
news:k86o41dc4htgis24b9lf9madbhdmqukdhq@4ax.com...
On Thu, 31 Mar 2005 17:08:45 +0200, "tw" <no@no.com> wrote:
"Doc" <goblowmoreshit@baboons.com> wrote in message
news:d2h15o01mb@enews2.newsguy.com...
Uranus is 'responsible' for sea quakes
Well, my ***** has been responsible for some bath quakes, so it could be
possible, I suppose.
You got in the bath? So I guess they should correct the story to say
that there are no longer rings around Uranus.
There IS a big ring round the bath though...
Biggest question, though. Did that also get rid of the Klingons on
Uranus????
That happened earlier - they were wiped out after the Captain's log was
finished.
.
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| User: "Marvin The Paranoid Android" |
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| Title: Re: Uranus Is 'Responsible' For Sea Quakes |
31 Mar 2005 09:57:49 AM |
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tw wrote:
"H Head" <hammerhead@fishnet.net> wrote in message
news:k86o41dc4htgis24b9lf9madbhdmqukdhq@4ax.com...
On Thu, 31 Mar 2005 17:08:45 +0200, "tw" <no@no.com> wrote:
"Doc" <goblowmoreshit@baboons.com> wrote in message
news:d2h15o01mb@enews2.newsguy.com...
Uranus is 'responsible' for sea quakes
Well, my ***** has been responsible for some bath quakes, so it could be
possible, I suppose.
You got in the bath? So I guess they should correct the story to say
that there are no longer rings around Uranus.
There IS a big ring round the bath though...
Biggest question, though. Did that also get rid of the Klingons on
Uranus????
That happened earlier - they were wiped out after the Captain's log was
finished.
<cue drum>
Bah-Dum!!
LOL ...
.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: Uranus Is 'Responsible' For Sea Quakes |
31 Mar 2005 11:50:30 PM |
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Why ?!?!?!?
Did someone let off a gigantuan fart in the sea ?!??!?!?
Hooroo ;-)
Uncle wally
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