What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican
1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and
Hillary Clinton.
2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when
Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business
with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden"
diversion.
3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist,
but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of
international harmony.
4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and
our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against
Iraq.
5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body,
but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all
mankind without regulation.
6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the
troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and
combat pay.
7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time
allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but
providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and
insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk
science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an
impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support
for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring
the Internet.
13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades,
but George Bush's driving record is none of our bu si ness.
14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless
you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you
need our prayers for your recovery.
15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican
ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national
interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame
them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the
quail.
Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least
10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with more Republicans
in '06 and '08.
Friends don't let friends vote Republican
.
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| User: "Steven Douglas" |
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| Title: Re: What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican |
07 Apr 2006 09:41:07 PM |
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Perseid wrote:
What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican
That's very good. I see several other people have picked it up and
posted your writing all over the internet. Congratulations. I also
found one for Democrats, but I'll give credit to the actual author and
not try to pretend I wrote it myself:
[quoting]
Things You Have to Believe to Be a Democrat Today
By Jay D. Dyson.
1. Drug addiction is a disease that should be treated with
compassion and understanding...unless the addict is a Conservative talk
show host.
2. The United States should be subservient to the United Nations.
Our highest authority is not God and the U.S. Constitution, but a
collective of tinpot dictators (and their appeasers) and the U.N.
charter.
3. Government should relax drug laws regardless of the potential for
abuse, but should pass new and unConstitutional anti-gun laws because
of the potential for abuse.
4. Calls for increased security after a terrorist attack are
"political opportunism," but calls for more gun control after a
criminal's spree killing is "a logical solution."
5. "It Takes a Village" means everything you want it to
mean...except creeping socialist government involvement in the nuclear
family.
6. Disarming innocent, law-abiding citizens helps protect them from
evil, lawless terrorists and other thugs.
7. Slowly killing an unborn innocent by tearing it apart limb from
limb is good. Slowly killing an innocent disabled woman by starving her
to death is good. Quickly killing terrorists, convicted murderers and
rapists is BAD.
8. Every religion should be respected and promoted in public schools
the name of diversity, so long as that religion isn't Christianity.
9. The best way to support our troops is to criticize their every
move. This will let them know they're thought of often.
10. Sexual harassment, groping and drug use are degenerate if you're
the governor of California, but it's okay if you're the President of
the United States.
11. Sex education should be required so that teens can make informed
choices about sex, but gun education should be banned because it will
turn those same teens into maniacal mass-murderers.
12. Minorities are blameless for the hatred of the racist; women are
blameless for the hatred of the rapist; but America is entirely at
fault for the hatred of Islamofascists.
13. Poverty is the cause of all terrorism...which is why the leaders
of al Qaeda are typically U.S.-educated and were raised in wealth and
luxury.
14. The Patriot Act is a horrific compromise of Constitutional
rights, but anti-Second Amendment laws and Franklin Roosevelt's
Presidential Order 9066 must be regarded "reasonable precautions."
15. We should unquestioningly honor the wishes of our age-old allies,
even when said allies no longer act like our allies and have vested
economic interests in propping up our enemies.
16. Socialized medicine is the ideal. Nevermind all those people who
spend every dime they have to get to the United States so they can get
quality medical care...that their nation's socialized medical community
can't provide.
17. Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky and Natalie Maines are perfectly
qualified to criticize our leadership, but Arnold Schwarzenegger,
Charlton Heston, and Dennis Miller are just ignorant political hacks.
18. John Lott's research on how gun ownership reduces crime is junk
science, but Michael Bellesiles is still an authority on why gun
control is good (even though he was forced to resign from Emory due to
research misconduct over his book "Arming America").
19. Bush's toppling the Saddam regime was a "diversion," but
Clinton's lobbing a couple of cruise missiles at Iraq in the thick of
the Lewinsky sex scandal was "sending a message."
20. A president who lies under oath is okay, but a president who
references sixteen words from an allies' intelligence report should be
dragged through the streets naked.
21. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which include banning Second Amendment rights and
shopping the courts for judges sympathetic to causes that wouldn't pass
in any legislature.
22. "The People" in the First Amendment means The People; "the
People" in the Fourth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the
Ninth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Tenth Amendment
means The People; but "the People" in the Second Amendment (ratified in
1791) means the National Guard (created by an Act of Congress in 1903).
23. You support a woman's "right to choose" to kill her unborn child,
but don't believe that same woman is competent enough to homeschool the
children she bears.
24. Proven draft-dodging is irrelevant, but baseless claims of AWOL
status is crucial to national security.
25. Threatening to boycott Dr. Laura's and Rush Limbaugh's
advertisers is exercising Freedom of Speech, but threatening to boycott
CBS's "The Reagans" and Liberal actors over their asinine anti-American
remarks is censorship and McCarthyist blacklisting.
[end quoting]
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| User: "Perseid" |
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| Title: Re: What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican |
08 Apr 2006 07:12:40 AM |
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"Steven Douglas" <dsteven@flashmail.com> Spat the Words
Perseid wrote:
What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican
That's very good. I see several other people have picked it up and
posted your writing all over the internet. Congratulations. I also
found one for Democrats, but I'll give credit to the actual author and
not try to pretend I wrote it myself:
This is the democrat version ? I can see why the neocons are
having such a hard time... none of these make much sense.
I do like the one about a president being held accountable
for lying though.
[quoting]
Things You Have to Believe to Be a Democrat Today
By Jay D. Dyson.
1. Drug addiction is a disease that should be treated with
compassion and understanding...unless the addict is a Conservative talk
show host.
2. The United States should be subservient to the United Nations.
Our highest authority is not God and the U.S. Constitution, but a
collective of tinpot dictators (and their appeasers) and the U.N.
charter.
3. Government should relax drug laws regardless of the potential for
abuse, but should pass new and unConstitutional anti-gun laws because
of the potential for abuse.
4. Calls for increased security after a terrorist attack are
"political opportunism," but calls for more gun control after a
criminal's spree killing is "a logical solution."
5. "It Takes a Village" means everything you want it to
mean...except creeping socialist government involvement in the nuclear
family.
6. Disarming innocent, law-abiding citizens helps protect them from
evil, lawless terrorists and other thugs.
7. Slowly killing an unborn innocent by tearing it apart limb from
limb is good. Slowly killing an innocent disabled woman by starving her
to death is good. Quickly killing terrorists, convicted murderers and
rapists is BAD.
8. Every religion should be respected and promoted in public schools
the name of diversity, so long as that religion isn't Christianity.
9. The best way to support our troops is to criticize their every
move. This will let them know they're thought of often.
10. Sexual harassment, groping and drug use are degenerate if you're
the governor of California, but it's okay if you're the President of
the United States.
11. Sex education should be required so that teens can make informed
choices about sex, but gun education should be banned because it will
turn those same teens into maniacal mass-murderers.
12. Minorities are blameless for the hatred of the racist; women are
blameless for the hatred of the rapist; but America is entirely at
fault for the hatred of Islamofascists.
13. Poverty is the cause of all terrorism...which is why the leaders
of al Qaeda are typically U.S.-educated and were raised in wealth and
luxury.
14. The Patriot Act is a horrific compromise of Constitutional
rights, but anti-Second Amendment laws and Franklin Roosevelt's
Presidential Order 9066 must be regarded "reasonable precautions."
15. We should unquestioningly honor the wishes of our age-old allies,
even when said allies no longer act like our allies and have vested
economic interests in propping up our enemies.
16. Socialized medicine is the ideal. Nevermind all those people who
spend every dime they have to get to the United States so they can get
quality medical care...that their nation's socialized medical community
can't provide.
17. Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky and Natalie Maines are perfectly
qualified to criticize our leadership, but Arnold Schwarzenegger,
Charlton Heston, and Dennis Miller are just ignorant political hacks.
18. John Lott's research on how gun ownership reduces crime is junk
science, but Michael Bellesiles is still an authority on why gun
control is good (even though he was forced to resign from Emory due to
research misconduct over his book "Arming America").
19. Bush's toppling the Saddam regime was a "diversion," but
Clinton's lobbing a couple of cruise missiles at Iraq in the thick of
the Lewinsky sex scandal was "sending a message."
20. A president who lies under oath is okay, but a president who
references sixteen words from an allies' intelligence report should be
dragged through the streets naked.
21. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which include banning Second Amendment rights and
shopping the courts for judges sympathetic to causes that wouldn't pass
in any legislature.
22. "The People" in the First Amendment means The People; "the
People" in the Fourth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the
Ninth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Tenth Amendment
means The People; but "the People" in the Second Amendment (ratified in
1791) means the National Guard (created by an Act of Congress in 1903).
23. You support a woman's "right to choose" to kill her unborn child,
but don't believe that same woman is competent enough to homeschool the
children she bears.
24. Proven draft-dodging is irrelevant, but baseless claims of AWOL
status is crucial to national security.
25. Threatening to boycott Dr. Laura's and Rush Limbaugh's
advertisers is exercising Freedom of Speech, but threatening to boycott
CBS's "The Reagans" and Liberal actors over their asinine anti-American
remarks is censorship and McCarthyist blacklisting.
[end quoting]
.
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| User: "Golden Glen" |
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| Title: Re: What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican |
08 Apr 2006 04:50:36 AM |
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The finnish word for "*****" is "perse".
Perseid wrote / skrev:
What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican
1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and
Hillary Clinton.
2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when
Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business
with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden"
diversion.
3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist,
but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of
international harmony.
4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and
our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against
Iraq.
5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body,
but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all
mankind without regulation.
6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the
troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and
combat pay.
7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time
allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but
providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and
insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk
science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an
impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support
for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring
the Internet.
13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades,
but George Bush's driving record is none of our bu si ness.
14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless
you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you
need our prayers for your recovery.
15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican
ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national
interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame
them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the
quail.
Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least
10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with more Republicans
in '06 and '08.
Friends don't let friends vote Republican
.
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| User: "K Miller" |
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| Title: Re: What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican |
07 Apr 2006 11:47:32 PM |
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To be a United States of America 'Republican' Presidential supporter
requires only one TRUE belief:
My 'Republican' President - "Right OR Wrong" !!!
:-o
"Perseid" <eidpers@anti-spam.comcast.net> wrote in message
news:Xns979E1165039BBrrfkwrantispamattbic@216.196.97.136...
What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican
1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and
Hillary Clinton.
2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when
Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business
with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin
Laden"
diversion.
3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist,
but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of
international harmony.
4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and
our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions
against
Iraq.
5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body,
but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all
mankind without regulation.
6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the
troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and
combat pay.
7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time
allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but
providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and
insurance companies have the best interests of the public at
heart.
10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk
science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an
impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support
for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring
the Internet.
13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades,
but George Bush's driving record is none of our bu si ness.
14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless
you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you
need our prayers for your recovery.
15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican
ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national
interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame
them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the
quail.
Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least
10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with more Republicans
in '06 and '08.
Friends don't let friends vote Republican
.
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| User: "Woodswun" |
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| Title: Re: What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican |
08 Apr 2006 07:02:21 AM |
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K Miller wrote:
To be a United States of America 'Republican' Presidential supporter
requires only one TRUE belief:
My 'Republican' President - "Right OR Wrong" !!!
:-o
You mean "always right, even if a judge says
otherwise". ;-)
Woods
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| User: "Steven Douglas" |
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| Title: Re: What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican |
08 Apr 2006 12:07:17 AM |
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K Miller wrote:
To be a United States of America 'Republican' Presidential supporter
requires only one TRUE belief:
My 'Republican' President - "Right OR Wrong" !!!
That leaves me out, because I don't feel that way at all.
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| User: "K Miller" |
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| Title: Re: What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican |
08 Apr 2006 12:56:57 AM |
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I guess that would 'exclude' YOU as a TRUE Republican Party
Supporter !!!
}:- |
But, maybe that just makes you part of the 'Humanistic People' that
makes up the rest of the CARING World Community !!!
WAR should only be WAGGED against those that are a THREAT to your
"Own Way Of Life".
[Support the U.N. Troops in Afganistan, Question the REST !!!]
Al-Quada (and its Beliefs) and its Followers [not your neighboring
Muslims] are the only REAL threat to the Free World.
No ONE SINGLE GROUP OF PEOPLE should have control over the way that
"The Masses" should feel about any singular person's beliefs amongst
their community. (as long as it does not cross the lines of proper
morality.)
Digression against a single person's or group's believes is TRULY
'Genocide'.
:- |
"Steven Douglas" <dsteven@flashmail.com> wrote in message
news:1144472837.607683.57060@i40g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
K Miller wrote:
To be a United States of America 'Republican' Presidential
supporter
requires only one TRUE belief:
My 'Republican' President - "Right OR Wrong" !!!
That leaves me out, because I don't feel that way at all.
.
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| User: "K Miller" |
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| Title: Re: What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican |
08 Apr 2006 01:06:13 AM |
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For a country that allows one (or two) states to practice polygamy;
who are they to "Cast Stones" at some other Countries practices ???
The United States needs to learn from 'With-In', before passing
judgment on other countries practices !!!
:-)
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